Roostaurants
Finalist Melbourne Food & Wine Festival Young Writer Competition
Caitlyn Staples Aged 12 Year 7 Wesley College Glen Waverly
"The Best Meal I Ever Had - At The Chicken Feed Roostaurant"
Can I please have a table for two roast chickens and a Chicken nugget? The roast chicken said.
The waiter, a Red Rooster, escorted them to the table asked if they wished to order any drinks.
I would like a humanade, said the roast chicken mum
Ill have a Diet bloke, demanded the roast chicken dad.
Can I please have a small soft kid? asked the Chicken Nugget.
The waiter came back with their drinks, Here a your peopleverages
As they slurped happily at their human flavoured delights they were suddenly startled to hear music. Suddenly all the waiters came into the middle of the room and started dancing, and flapping their wings whilst singing the roostaurants theme song.
- For years and years theyve eaten us with those mouths in their head
But now things have changed and were eating them instead
You use to fry and scramble our eggs
Now things have changed and were roasting your legs
You didnt even care how we might feel
With us chickens being eaten at every meal
Well now youre sorry now you pay
Roast chickens eating you for dinner everyday
All the chickens squawked and clapped madly at the end of the performance. Chicken Nugget turned to his parents and asked what the song meant. His father explained that once upon a time humans use to keep chickens in cages, feed them steroids so that they would grow big and then roast them for dinner. One day the chemicals in the steroids reacted with the heat from the fire and all the roast chickens all over the world came out of the ovens bigger and stronger than the people cooking them. They took over the world, and now pay the humans back by farming them for food
Chicken Nugget was stunned when he heard this but before he could worry about all those poor chickens the roostaurants mascot came out (a yellow chicken in human farm clothes). He started handing out free samples of the roostaurants newest item on the menu Dim Limbs. The crowd cheered as the mascot went back to the kitchen. This really was the best roostaurant in town!
The family picked up their menus, it was very hard to decide what to eat. Everything on the menu certainly looked claw licken good. Red Rooster came back to take their order. Hmmmm, said the father, Us roast chickens will share a human parts platter, we certainly like the sound of those Kentucky fried fingers, spare ribs and roast noses and little chicken nugget hear wants a little red human meal with a piece of thigh, and a thumb stick.
When it came the food looked delicious. The chickens beaks watered
They started eating chomping it down. The family laughed and joked. A number of times father had to remind Nugget not to speak with his beak full! All around them other groups were enjoying dinner, the way every chook looked you would have thought they hadnt eaten for days.
Finally they had finished their meal. As mother was putting down her knife and fork the fork dropped. As it fell, it somehow pierced her thigh. She squawked in pain and then everything around her seemed to have disappeared, she felt like she was shrinking away, I must be going to faint she whispered in her soft voice. Suddenly around her she heard the sound of eating. The noises around her were those of the roostaurant. There was joking and laughing again, scraping the last bit of food from their plate and talking with their mouth full. Even though her thigh still ached she sighed with relief and opened her eyes. Relief turned to terror for around her were new surroundings. She could see bowls of peas and corn, a plate of salad, some mashed potato and even a jug of gravy.
As she looked around in horror, she saw that the fork in her thigh was attached to a human hand. It had all been a dream and now she realised that even though it felt like a nightmare this was real life and nothing could save her from her destiny.
She was doomed. All she could see now were red lips and those big, sharp teeth. In her mind she screamed, Some day, you monsters.
The last thing she remembered was disappearing into the mouth, that was in the head that they sing about at Chickens Feed Roostaurant.
What the Judges said:
A politically correct tale and an interesting take on the theme. Very clever use of common brands and we love the theme song.
Love this story, what happened to the organic chickens though?
Im a sucker for a good pun (dim limbs!) but ultimately a confusing story the ending incomprehensible and a little extra work may have solved the problem.
This is truly brilliant , humorous writing. I feel it didnt quite address the theme but I truly admired your style and control of your subject and story structure.