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Baked Beans by Andrew Tsoi
Andrew entered this rap (well it could be a poem but we are bein' hep man) in our Young Writer 2004 Competition. He didn't make the finals cause it is not a short story (d'oh) but great work anyway Andrew!!

Most people think of bad things when it comes to baked beans,
But not everything is what it seems.

Some folks hate it but why can't they see,
That baked beans are good for you and for me.

They have protein, vitamins and minerals - oh my!
Great for those whose stools are hard and quite dry.

However the after affects may be great,
'Cause it's bigger than what everyone can take.

Concentrated gas in you body may feel like it's gonna burst,
So I guess you'll just have to prepare for the worst.

This foul wind is what they call flatulence,
However too much of it an you'll need some health insurance.

So take my advice and don't over eat baked beans,
'Cause no one wants to smell any obnoxious scenes.

But don't wait for someone to mention,
That you need to see some medical attention.

And remember not to gas your doctor and his men,
But don't worry if you do, it does happen now and then.

If it's too late already; please don't panic,
Even though you single discharge could sink the Titanic.

You may not feel well after a little while,
Just hope there's no one around you for two miles.

'Cause in due course you'll leff off a great big fart,
But with such intensity it'll blow the ozone apart.

Andrew is in Year 10 at Camberwell Grammar, Melbourne and he holds the copyright to this work so please don't use it without his permission.